I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
