Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
