called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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