Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
