just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize