Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it glows. i had to have it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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