I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
