Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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