we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
