How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
