That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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