My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
