Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
