I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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