We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
