I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize