Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
