i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
