walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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