new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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