Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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