I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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