Whats the glycemic index on semen?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
