I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
