the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
