You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
