It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
