STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
