Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
