Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
