I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
