Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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