As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
