Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
