Only a mothe r could love this liver
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
