i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize