you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
