brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
