i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
