I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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