Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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