Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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