is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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