An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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