would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
