I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
honey bunches of taint.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
