his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
