Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She bit a glass in half.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
