One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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