Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
