closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
