The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Randomize
