it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh god it's open bar.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
