Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
