can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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