He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
