you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
