In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
