i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
