You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
