Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize