he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
